Lucy Brazier is the Deputy head porter of a Cambridge College. She keeps a blog, part fact, part fiction, of her experiences on what she calls a “bizarre new job”. This is what she calls the “Secret diary of a porter girl”.
Since this interview, we met up to discuss her new book.
“I describe being Deputy Head Porter as policing wonderland”
Could you describe your blog?
It started out as just my thoughts and feelings on this bizarre new job. It’s just every day adventures really of the staff and students of a college. I left school at 16 so I’ve had no experience with higher education, and the college system seemed like the most intriguing thing. The blog started out as my thoughts and feelings on this bizarre new job and it’s evolved from that. The blog is an uneducated outsider’s documentation of higher education.
Do you think you’ll get used to it
I think so. You just kind of accept that weird stuff is going to happen. It is cool as well. It’s not meant to be derogatory at all. It justs interests me.
How do you pick what to talk about
Generally just things that I find amusing. I try not to put in anything that would portray the college in a bad light. I love the college. I love the people there. So i spare the stuff that might be a bit unpleasant. It’s the daft the innane and the bizarre.
You came to this from policing. How does the porters lodge compare to a police station?
In some ways it’s very similar. I describe being Deputy Head Porter as policing wonderland. There are similiarities. Occasionally serious things happen – we’ve had suicide attempts and drunkenness, but not much violence yet. So in some ways I have found that I am using the same skills sets, just in a very different way. Some things kick in like instinct and it feels like being back at home. It’s quite nice, for example, when you’ve got someone who has collapsed go: “Procedure. I know what to do here!” That’s better than when someone comes in and asks for some bizarre random key for a room that you’ve never even heard of. Bloody keys…
Does being ex-police lend itself to the job?
I think it does because the police or the military is a vocation. You join because you want to serve and help and protect people. Unless you’re one of those power trippy cops who’s just going to bully the students. I think it’s a good background to come from.
What’s your impression of the relationship between Cambridge students and the local police?
Well I’ve never worked for Cambridgeshire police, so I don’t know a lot about it but obviously they’ve been trying to recruit students to spy on university societies and things like that. Personally, I think there are better ways of building a relationship, quite frankly. I don’t want to criticise or say too much because there may be reasons behind it but it doesn’t strike me as the best way to build relationships with the community.
And I wonder what societies these are and how dangerous they actually are? The society antics that I’m aware of generally consist of drinking, dressing up or undressing. I don’t see why the police are that interested.
If Cambridgeshire constabulary have got nothing bigger to worry about then they must be doing a great job.
Is your anonymity important to you?
Yes in some respects, but it’s not going to be the end of the world if I’m discovered, and I think some people have already worked it out. But being a writer, writing behind “porter girl”, is great because you can be more honest. You can write more freely, saying things you wouldn’t usually say under your own name.
You said that you’ve been surprised at the interest in your blog. Why do you think there is such an interest in Oxford and Cambridge?
Oxbridge is known all over the world. My American readers absolutely adore it. They think it is like Harry Potter and it is in a way. It’s almost like a secret society which is what attracts people’s interest. The usual mundane things here are actually very very interesting to people outside. The age of it as well, and that otherworldliness. People like to look in. And the gowns. And the little hats. I think the hats have a lot to do with it. It’s the hats!
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